Some people are shocked when I tell them that it has been 8 months since I’ve “done the deed.” It doesn’t bother me that I haven’t been intimate with someone in so long. It’s not the longest I’ve gone without. The longest was about 2 years; and that was as a sex-crazed teenager. Sex just doesn’t mean anything to me if there aren’t real feelings attached to it. It doesn’t mean anything, either, if there’s no actual relationship involved.
I outgrew meaningless, one-night sex a long time ago. Now, if it doesn’t hold meaning, then I don’t want it. It’s just not worth the effort if there’s no reason to put the effort out there. Besides, it’s not like I go out to bars where I’d be inclined to meet potential one-nighters anyway.
Sex is a luxury, to me. It is not something I need to make it through my day, or my week, or even my month…and, at the rate I’m going, through my year. It doesn’t bother me to go without. The only time I freak out if I don’t “get it” is when I’m in a relationship. In a relationship, you need that intimacy, that shared connection. Outside of a relationship, my drive shuts down and goes into hibernation. If I don’t crave it, then I don’t want it, thusly I don’t miss it.
When it comes to a relationship, I’m all about taking care of my partner. I do what I can to always appreciate what they do for me and not take them for granted. Of course, this is extremely difficult for me to do if they don’t appreciate what I do for them and constantly take me for granted. Unfortunately, it seems to be the trend lately to not appreciate your mate and to abuse their generosity and kindness and courtesy. This is one of the big reasons why I have decided to remain abstinent in almost all ways. I don’t’ want to date, which means I don’t want to get all involved in any kind of intimate relationship.
When I’m happy in a relationship, I love to do housework. I love to do housework anyway, I just don’t usually bother with it on a regular basis when I’m single and no one ever comes over. If there’s no one to impress, why bother, right? It’s kind of like shaving your legs in that respect. But, happily in a relationship, I will have a regular cleaning schedule for doing all the housework, dishes and laundry. I will enjoy this time and it’s almost meditative for me. It’s my time to myself. It’s my time to think about everything. When I’m single and have no one to impress, I also don’t have the need to have a specific meditative time allotted for myself and for thinking because I have all day every day for that.