It can't always be sunshine and pretty flowers on the journey to better fitness and weight loss. Though I try, I am nowhere near perfect…never will be. No matter what I do, I will always be flawed. And I’m okay with that. I’ve come to terms with my imperfectness. So, I’m in a bit of a slump. My eating hasn't been so great off and on over the past couple weeks. I'm finding I'm feeling "vulnerable" when at work and am easily giving in to the group and ordering fried chicken with them, eating left over high sugar cake in the breakroom, eating loads of chips and salsa or frito's and bean dip. Ugh. I don't regret it, that's where you run into problems and make everything worse. I just wish I wasn't having such a struggle with my willpower and self control right now. I'll get over it and be just fine, I know I will. It's just the time between now and then that's frustrating to me.
I’m a little torn with how I’ve been off and on “bad” the last few weeks. On the one hand, I want to be an inspiration and role model for people around me that are trying to lose weight and/or gain better fitness and I don’t want to let them down by being imperfect or having stumbles. But, on the other hand, I have to realize that my stumbles and imperfectness can also be inspiring because then people can see that it wasn’t easy for me, that I didn’t just decide to lose weight and then it magically happened. I have to remember that the struggle is part of the process and it shouldn’t be glossed over or omitted.
So, with that being said…it’s been a rough couple of weeks. One week, I worked a bunch of overtime and severely cut into my time to work out and didn’t work out for 4 days within one week. Then, the next week, I was still apparently a little discouraged and didn’t do very good with my food choices. I have to just accept that this has happened and strive to do better the next day. One thing that my off and on “bad” food choices has taught me is that I’m great at maintaining a weight. So long as I keep up my exercise, I can maintain like a champ. And, from what I’ve heard, maintaining is way harder than losing the weight.
Another thing I have to keep in mind is that when I started this fitness challenge with some co-workers, I set out to achieve some certain goals. One of those goals was to be able to fit comfortably in a size 10 jean. Well, I do. That was really my ultimate goal for the challenge as far as my weight loss went. So, really, I’ve already achieved success as far as the goals I set out for myself. Also, when I look at myself in the mirror, I can still see the jiggly stomach area and it gets me down a little bit. However, when I go to a store and I’m walking through the front doors and I can see my reflection, I’m all like “damn I look GOOD!”
I have to keep my successes in the front of my mind and push the negatives to the side and not let them control how I feel about myself. I am a success. I have succeeded. And I will continue to do so.