Sunday, February 9, 2014

Am I "That Girl"?

I went to Walgreen’s this evening to return something.  While I was standing at the cosmetics counter waiting my turn, a lady walked in that had a nice slim, not-too-skinny body.  I wondered if she struggled like I did or if she was one of the lucky ones that didn’t have to work hard at a nice looking body.  When I was walking up the stairs when I got home, carrying my frozen pizza and copy of the March Runner’s World, I said hi to some neighbors unloading some things from their car.  At that moment, when I started climbing the stairs to my apartment, I wondered if people looked at me and wondered something similar while seeing me stuff my face with pizza or a burger or whatever it may be.  I mean, I’m not skinny, but I’m most definitely not fat anymore.  I’m still about 20 or so pounds above my goal weight, but I look good in clothes that fit well…even though I’m not entirely happy with how I look in a swimsuit or naked right now.  So, wondering if people thought that about me sort of put things in perspective a little bit.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past week…about my weight loss, weight gain and eating.  While I absolutely LOVE the Shred Diet (minus week 3…week 3 is really hard for me) and it does get me really good results, it may be a little too restrictive for me to follow day after day without a break.  So, I’m thinking I need to combine it with some other ways of eating healthy.  I mentioned doing a vegan cleanse after I run my half marathon next week.  So, maybe what I can do is a week or two of the Shred, a week of vegan, then a week of calorie counting.  That way, I get a good variety and it keeps my body guessing more than doing just the Shred does.  Because, you see, while the Shred helped me lose 10.4 lbs in 4 weeks, it also caused me to become very constipated, which led to me becoming extremely frustrated and then resulted in me gaining back the weight I had lost.  Ugh.  I’ve got to move past the frustration that this has caused and is still causing me and try something else to find if that works for me.  I think that if I do the 1-2 weeks of Shred, 1 week vegan, and then 1 week just counting calories will help keep things moving, if you know what I mean…haha.

So, today was a scheduled long run day.  However, I worked overtime on the morning shift this morning and didn’t sleep very well at all last night.  On top of all that, I had overactive bowels today, which further exhausted me apparently.  When I got home, all I wanted was a nap.  I figured I’d nap for an hour and a half and then go for my run and be done around sundown.  An hour and a half went by and I reset the alarm for another hour or so more, which would mean if I ran tonight, I’d be running at night or going to the gym to run 6 miles on the treadmill.  When I did get up just before 6pm, I had some back and forth about whether to run or not and ultimately decided I would just wait until tomorrow.  I finalized the decision after checking the weather.  This evening, it’s in the upper 60’s, tomorrow morning, it will be in the low 40’s.  Perfect.   

I’ll get up around 7:30 or 8 tomorrow morning, go for my run, shower and then go meet a friend for coffee.  Then I’ll do grocery shopping and then come home and do whatever food prep I need to do for the week and then chill until time to go to my trainer workout at 4pm.

Oh, and I relooked at my work/overtime schedule for this week and, if I'm up for it, I can get in a bonus workout on Friday before, maybe a 2 or 3 mile run or I'll do that yoga session?  We shall see.

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