Figures,
the day I post my workout schedule for next week is the day I get the
email from the other area supervisor confirming overtime dates for me to
work the next 3 weeks. Geez.
So, I’ll have a total of 3 shifts of overtime next week, so, let me now
redo my workout schedule for next week…here we go:
• Sunday – overtime morning, run 6-ish miles in the PM
• Monday – trainer workout
• Tuesday – run (3 or 4 mi?)
• Wednesday – run (2 or 3 mi?)
• Thursday – sleep only
• Friday – sleep only
• Saturday – rest, race expo
The
good news is that my legs will be well rested come Sunday morning for
the race! I don’t know what I was thinking when I signed up for
overtime on the 14th. Oh well,
I’ll go home, sleep for like 4 hours, get up, go to the expo, go back
home, relax…maybe do some yoga (?)…then go to bed early so I can wake up
early Sunday morning to get to the race on time.
Okay,
I need to address something here. I’m struggling. I have done this
off and on throughout the last 3+ years. I do great for a few weeks or a
couple months and then bam I fall
off my weight loss wagon and go down the wrong path and get lost. It’s
so frustrating, but it sort of puts things in perspective, I guess. At
least for you guys. I’m not perfect. Nowhere near it. I’m normal. I
have problems. I struggle. THIS IS NOT
EASY. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but I’m pretty sure
I have ADHD, which does make it difficult for me to keep myself
focused. Sure, I could talk to my doctor and he would probably agree to
prescribe me medication that would help me stay
focused on my goals and my journey, but my life wouldn’t be as fun as
it is now. I’ve just got to find a way to work around this and not let
it become an excuse or a reason as to why I allow myself to trip up and
fail. I am saying all this because the first
4 weeks of this year, I did great. I lost almost 10.5 pounds in that
time. Then week 5 happened. I’m not sure what happened but my body
stopped doing what it was supposed to do…eliminate the waste byproducts
creating by eating food…and I gained some weight.
Then, when I couldn’t get my body to start doing what it was supposed
to do, I go frustrated and I fell and now I’ve gained back most of what I
lost in those first 4 weeks. It would be sooooo easy to give in to a
pity party and wallow in self-loathing. But
that would be the easy way, the coward’s way. It would not be my way.
I’ve got to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on the path I
started on at the beginning of the year.
I
started the current fitness challenge I’m participating in at 182 lbs
and I made a 2 month goal to lose 5 pounds. That means that by March 15th,
I need to be at 177
or less in order to have met that goal. That’s 5 weeks away. Frankly,
I’m not sure I can do it. I may fail at reaching this goal, but I’m
going to try. I’m not going to throw in the towel and just give up on
winning the competition.
I
have to be honest, it’s so hard to not get discouraged that I keep
doing the same thing over and over again. I take 3 steps forward and
then 2 and a half back. How am I supposed
to make progress if I keep doing that? Very, very slowly, that’s how.
But it’s still progress and that’s what I have to remind myself of. I
wish I had the magic fix to my problems, but I don’t. I have to deal
with them. They’re not going to just magically
disappear and never bother me again. If I can’t learn to deal with and
control them now, how am I supposed to succeed at maintaining my weight
loss once I’ve hit goal? I won’t. So I have to learn now so I can
succeed later.
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