Sunday, January 15, 2017

Recovery & Obsession



Friday was payday and of course, I ordered some more scrapbooking supplies because, well, I need more.  <rolls eyes>  Aside from that, I also registered for my very first 50K race!!!  OMG!  My friend Ben is going to run it with me, though, so while it’s scary, it’s a manageable scary because I won’t be doing it alone.  I am really excited to run my very first ultra marathon, though!  WOOHOO!  I signed up for the Prickly Pear 50K which is March 12th in San Antonio, TX.  Hopefully it won’t be muddy or otherwise gross.  I did 24-ish miles last year in March for a trail race and it was nothing but mud and water up to my chest.  While it was definitely a memorable experience and was mostly fun, it’s not really something I’m hot to repeat anytime soon.  I don’t mind getting dirty but that was a little on the ridiculous side.  I’m sure you agree.

Another thing I registered for is my very first Painting With a Twist session for a girls night on the 21st of this month.  Painting With a Twist, if you’re not in central Texas, is one of those BYOW (bring your own wine) painting party places.  The painting we’ll be doing is the Texas state outline with the Austin skyline inside with a sunset/sunrise colored sky.  The model says “Austin stole my <3,” but I don’t want mine to say that.  I’m probably just going to paint “Austin” and that’s it.  I came to a decision last month about Austin and how I believe Austin is the reason I don’t much care for Texas.  If I lived, say, in San Antonio, I might be happier.  It’s a simpler life down in SA.  And my friend Jennifer lives there and she knows all sorts of fantastic and cool places to eat and hang out.  But I can’t move there because I’m not commuting for 3+ hours a day to and from work.  I wouldn’t be able to work OT like I do now, for starters.  I’d have to work either just partial shifts or on my days off.  Neither is acceptable to me.

I need to show you guys some of my crafty hauls that I’ve splurged on lately (if I can just remember to take pictures of them before I put them away and take them out of their packaging).  I know, I know, I need to stop.  One of my top 3 goals for this year was to spend LESS.  So, after the scrapbooking convention on the 28th, I’m cutting myself off from crafty purchases for a while.  I have more than enough stuff.  I do need to get some better storage options.  So I was thinking I might probably buy a raskog cart to help with that issue.  However, I bought some of those 3 drawer plastic storage things from Target instead.  I will buy a raskog, but not right now.  I do need something to put my Project Life card containers into instead of them just hanging out on my couch like they are right now.  BUT, because I bought those drawer containers, I was able to seriously organize my craft area.  It still needs more organization, but it’s way better than it was.

So, every now and then, EVERYONE suffers from lack of motivation.  No one is exempt.  Not beginners, not elites.  No one.  It happens to everyone at some point.  It’s been about a year and a half since I suffered from a lack of motivation.  I now find myself suffering from it at the moment.  Ever since 2017 started, I’ve had a hard time kicking my running into gear and getting out the door for runs that I have scheduled for myself…or not running the full distance I had intended on running.  To say it’s a little frustrating would be an understatement.  I know it all started when I had the issue with the medication last fall and it made me have cysts on my ovaries and regain like 15 pounds.  I’ve been back on my previous medication for a little over 2 months now.  While I FEEL better, I’m not seeing things happen the way I want them to happen, the way I had hoped they’d happen once I got back on my original med and got restabilized on it.  I’ve lost like 3 or 4 of that 15 pounds I packed back on.  I look in the mirror and I’m disgusted.  This is just my own warped perception of how I look.  There’s actually nothing wrong with how I look.  It’s just not the way I want to look because I’m not at the weight I want to be at.  The weight I was at just 3 months ago.  I felt so great and loved how I looked.  I’m just trying to get back to that moment in my life. 

The GOOD news is that even though I’m not losing the weight like I want to, I’m not gaining weight.  I’m essentially maintaining at about 161 pounds.  I really want to lose 10-ish pounds as soon as I can.  It’d be fabulous if I could lose it before my trip home to visit family and friends in May.  So, that’s like 4 months to lose 10-ish pounds?  Totally achievable.  Totally.  I’m just trying to not stress myself out about this.  I’m just trying to be smart about it and figure it out.  I am pretty sure that my eating is the key so I’ve been tweaking how I’m eating a little bit to see if different things work better than others.  This week, I’m finishing out the zoodles with meat sauce I made for my lunches last week, and then I’m going back to the ½ rotisserie chicken for lunch each day.  I really do like having the fruit smoothies with 3 boiled eggs (the eggs are not blended into the smoothies…gross…haha) for breakfasts.

Anyway, so, I’ve pretty much accepted that I won’t hit my 120 mile goal for January.  And I’m okay with that.  I still have another 11 months in this year to make up for this month’s lack of mileage.  Like I said, I’m not stressing about this lull right now.  and that’s how I’m seeing it…as a lull…nothing more.  I ran hard last month and my body needs rest.  Rest isn’t something I give my body a lot of.  I mean, I work 64 hours a week and then I run an average of 25 miles a week (that was just the “average” weekly mileage for 2016 with 1274 total miles ran over the whole year…there were 40+ mile weeks in there) and I don’t take time off from anything.  I just go-go-go all day, every day.  so I’m taking January as a “rest month” for all intents and purposes.  I started physical therapy at RunLab and am really enjoying that process and learning new exercises and workouts.  I LOVED the speedy hill workout on the treadmill, for example. 

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