Wednesday, April 5, 2017

"It's Complicated"...or is it?

Random topic, completely different from what I usually talk about.  I have been like 96% single for the last 6.5 years (I briefly dated a guy about 4.5 years ago for a little over a month…not sure if that counts).  The last about 6 months I’ve had an itch to be in a relationship.  I’m not sure what changed or what caused the change of mind/heart.  All I know is that I happened and I’ve spent the last 6-ish months trying to find a guy that’s not a jerk or a total douchebag.  This is much harder than it seems.  You see, a great many guys are already in some sort of a relationship, whether it be dating or married.  And a lot of them do not wear a ring, much to my frustration.

I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last couple weeks.  I have come to the conclusion that my faith and trust of men has not changed.  I have none of either for them.  I don’t believe them when they complement me.  I don’t believe them if they tell me they’re sick and that’ why I’m not hearing from them.  I don’t trust them not to lie to me or to not cheat on me.  I have been lied to and cheated on by SO MANY boyfriends.  I think I’m ruined.  I do hold out a tiny hope that Mr. Right or whatever will appear and restore my faith and give me cause to trust again.  However, I am not and will not be holding my breath on this.

Some people are just not destined to be in a fully committed, life-long relationship.  I seriously hope that’s not the case for me, but I am also not going to get my hopes up only to be continually disappointed.  I’d rather be lonely then heartbroken.

Now that I’ve said all that and gotten it off my mind and out in the open, I can move on with this post.  Haha!

I have a good group of girl friends right now and they all mean the world to me.  Amanda, Heather, Hannah, Jen, and Bri…I love them all.  They’re all there for me no matter what.  They’re my BAE’s (before anyone/anything else, in case you didn’t know).  I have so much fun with all them when I hang out with them.

And now for some mundane things.  First, over the weekend, during my 2 trips down to San Antonio for the eventually canceled half marathon related events, I stopped at the New Braunfels Buc-ee’s (an amazing travel stop that is always an obligatory stop for me!) three times!!!  On my first visit, I bought an RTIC 30oz tumbler.  It is HOT PINK and I love it!  It seriously makes drinking my water more appealing and fun, since for some reason the last couple weeks I’ve had an issue with drinking my minimum 100oz a day.  I have a friend that can make custom decals, so I’m going to ask him if he can make me a couple to stick to my new tumbler to personalize it.  I want to have him make a decal (in yellow) of my blog title in the shape of the Boston Marathon unicorn that I drew a while back.  The other decal I want will be a quote.  Either the one I have tattooed on me, “we choose to do these things not because they are easy but because they are hard.”  Or, “run the race before you.”  I haven’t decided yet.

I think I mentioned that while I was in San Antonio I bought a new pair of tactical boots for work.  They are the Bates “Strike” 8-inch side zip boots.  So far I really like them. They’re comfortable and don’t really rub me wrong.  Or, at least wrong enough to cause blisters, so that’s a good thing.

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